006. oops, did i break that?
Rethinking the ‘bull in a china shop’- some spaces need delicacy, others need disruption
I was 6 years old when I first heard the phrase- “bull in a china shop”
My parents sent me to Montessori school before the start of kindergarten. Almost every day, they would drop me off at the foot of the driveway of a small home in a quiet cul-de-sac. My teacher, a tall woman with beautiful thick black hair, would greet me with a smile and a gentle voice.
Every day, we followed the same schedule: carpet time, centers, snack, reading, lessons, lunch, centers, playtime, and home time. I think this is where my love affair with school started: the structure, the rewarding feeling I got when I learned something new, and socializing with peers.
Every day during centre kids would rush to grab the best activity; I loved reading so therefore I did not have to fight for library time very often. Once we selected an exercise, each of us would roll out our pastel pink and green striped mat and play independently or in a small group. While on the surface it looked like “playing”, I learned a lot. Drawing my letters in the sandbox, using number rods to count, sensory games to learn adjectives, puzzles of the world, sorting games- what you would expect from Montessori school.
One day after I had completed my puzzle, the teacher had signalled it was time to clean up and prepare for a snack. I hurried to clean up my things. In the chaos, I sloppily rolled my mat, threw the pieces of the puzzle in the box haphazardly, and stomped my feet to the kitchen where my friends had begun to eat.
The disapproving voice of my teacher rang out “Donatella, we are not bulls in a china shop”.
I remember being confused about the phrase- to me, China was the name of a country. Was it a shop that sold Chinese ingredients for cooking, and why would there be a bull in there? Whatever the meaning behind it was, it couldn’t have been a good thing.
I later came to find out, she was referring to a store that sold fine China dishware, but that’s beside the point. My teacher made me go back and re-roll the mat, fix the puzzle box, and walk slowly to the kitchen.
I must admit, before starting school I could be a pretty rambunctious child. I was loud, a bit messy, talked too much and listened less. So the sentiment of the phrase was highly accurate; I needed to stop and act accordingly based on the setting.
While in this moment, the criticism was justified -
I remember thinking of myself as someone with a “bull in a china shop” personality. In my house, the volume never went below an 8/10, large family gatherings meant talking over one another to get a word in, and physical attributes connected to my current feeling (crossed arms when pouting or talking with my hands) were and still are my go-to when expressing my emotions. I guess one could say, I didn’t know anything different than a bull in a china shop approach. While some of my peers came from quieter families or less expressive ones; my parents encouraged both me and my sibling to be lively, passionate, and vocal.
So I wonder, is being a bull in a china shop always a bad thing?
It is usually used to describe someone clumsy, reckless, or disruptive. It implies a lack of care or finesse, often leading to chaos. A phrase to describe someone too much, too forceful, too disruptive to a delicate environment.
As a teenager (and still as an adult), I was a passionate talker, highly opinionated, and never one to shy from a debate. I was the student who raised their hand too much in class and always had a follow-up question or a counter-point. Reactions varied- some teachers loved it, others not so much. I imagine my peers were not always so thrilled but that is how I engaged with the world; intensely, fully and without hesitation.
As an act of reframing the initial definition of the phrase, I think it can describe someone who is bold, decisive, and willing to put themselves out there - especially in a stagnant or overly cautious environment. The bull in the china shop approach can lead to progress. Think of an entrepreneur who looks to disrupt an industry with a new invention or a coach who is willing to implore new methods to invigorate a struggling team.
My bull in a china shop ways has allowed me to explore new opportunities. I moved away at 18 to study at a school where I did not know anyone, packed my bags and moved to another country, tried new jobs in various fields and took risks (calculated ones, but they were risks). I navigated unfamiliar cities and people, to ultimately become acquainted with the unfamiliar parts of myself.
The Bull as a Symbol
The irony is not lost on me, I was born in May under the sign of the Taurus. Although I don’t particularly believe in astrology, I can’t help but think that the bull is a motif in my life. I am drawn to collecting jewellery with the sign of the Taurus and as a child, I had artwork based on my astrological sign in my room. Last week I had many probing questions for a friend who is well-versed in the area of astrology and crystals. My curiosity about the symbol has always been and continues to be present.
The bull is a symbol of strength and power. We grab it by the horns to display authority over situations, we wave a red flag in its face to show fearlessness. We let them loose in streets or rice fields to “reveal how robust the connection between harnessing the strength of a bull and projecting one’s indomitability continues to be” (Grovier, 2017)
All over the world and for centuries the symbol of the bull is present in the lives of people. Seen as a force of nature, a deity in some religions (the sacred bull of Shiva), or a symbol of big business.
I remember the first time my Dad explained to me the “Charging Bull” symbol of the US stock market. One of the most popular sights in New York City, the bronze statue stands as the perfect photo-op for tourists on Wall Street and the great motivator for finance bros. Sculpted by Italian-American artist Arturo Di Modica. In the 70’s he moved to New York and began working on the bull after the 1987 stock market crash- “Di Modica felt he owed something to Americans for accepting him all those years earlier and supporting his career as a sculptor” (Hammond). He paid $360,000 of his own money to build the Charging Bull to inspire people to push through hard times and celebrate persistence.
I’ve come to believe that the world needs bulls in china shops. The traditional interpretation of the phrase suggests destruction or a lack of grace. But what if we shift our thinking? What if being a bull in a china shop isn’t about breaking things, but about breaking through them? Through trepidation, through stagnation, through the status quo?
Some of the most influential people in history could be described as bulls in china shops. Think of the artists, writers, activists, and entrepreneurs who refused to tiptoe around convention. They weren’t always careful, and they certainly weren’t quiet. Disrupting fragile systems that need to be shaken requires making noise, taking up space, and refusing to apologize for their presence.
I can’t deny there’s a time and place for delicacy and that my teacher had a valid point in asking me to fix the mess I made. Not every situation calls for charging ahead in full force. But far more often than we think, the world benefits from those who dare to push forward without waiting for permission.
So, if you’ve ever been told you’re too loud, too opinionated, too much; maybe you’re exactly what’s needed. Maybe you’re not here to preserve the china shop. Maybe you’re here to make room for something new.
Bibliography
Grovier, Kelly. "How the Bull Became a Powerful Symbol in Our Culture." BBC Culture. Published March 3, 2017. Accessed March 27, 2025. https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20170303-how-the-animal-became-a-powerful-symbol-in-our-culture.
Hammond, Gabriella. "History of the Charging Bull (and How To See It)." The Wall Street Experience. Accessed March 27, 2025. https://www.thewallstreetexperience.com/blog/story-behind-legendary-charging-bull/.
Great reflection and from one bull to another … never make yourself small or “less than” for anyone … it took me too long to learn that ❤️